I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize