i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just sent this text using only my big toe
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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