Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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