420 ftw
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
