just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
