Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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