i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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