Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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