i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
