I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize