is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
