I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
