im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize