How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
