The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
