Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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