As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So many bounce houses so little time
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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