this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sober January is a disaster.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Panties = found
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
