Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
