I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
