So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
