His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
