He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
