God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
