Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
