Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
