Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize