i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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