I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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