It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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