thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
