I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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