He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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