I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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