I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
