Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
