There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
