C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
