it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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