Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
