I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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