Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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