dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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