bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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