i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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