I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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