So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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