Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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