i just google imaged poop.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
