new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
