I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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