ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
