Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
