I am in a vortex of obligation.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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