i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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