in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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