How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize