is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
