im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
