My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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